You, Me, &... Why HIM?!

Okay, I'm going on a date with Kris tomarow. I wanted to take him to a sushi bar and have a "one on one" romantic evening. Yesturday, he tells me that one of my ex-BFs is going to tag along... talk about awkward. And if your wondering, its Andre...
I saw him last friday at a friend's b-day party, and we played "spin the bottle"...
Yeah... OH! I frenched a girl too! lol. yeah... i was straight for about 15 seconds...
But thats besides the point! I wanted to take my BF ona date and he invites my EX-BF... lame....

Life so far..

Things have been going really good lately! Well, @ skool anyways... @ home, that is a different story. My dad's wife is evil and cruel!...well...not really, shes just a bitch.
Skool has been awesome. Hanging out with friends, going out with Kris, and living as much as i can until i get picked up by the wicked witch of the west coast...(Dad's wife..)

The 9 Circles of Hell

1st circle (limbo)- If you were kind and virtuous, but something like hindu or islamic, you would go here. You just sit bored.
2nd circle (lust)- If you had a LOT of sex and impure thoughts, this is where you'd go. You're in a violent storm.
3rd circle (gluttony)- You practically worshiped food and ate WAY too much. Lying in snow and sleet.
4th circle (avarice)- If you were greedy and covetous, you were sent here. Half push rocks one way, the other half push them back.
5th circle (wrath and sloth)- You were angry, and now you're here. You just sat around, now you sit here. Fight on the surface of a swamp or sit on the bottom.
6th circle (heretics)- You betrayed your religion and off you go to be trapped in a burning tomb.
7th circle A (violent towards man)- A river of boiling blood may cool you down, but its too late now.
7th circle B (suicide)- You got the death you wanted, now you're a tree with your corpse hanging from your branch.
7th circle C (blasphemers)- Oh no! You were mean to God! YOu get to walk on fiery sand as flames rain down.
8th circle A (panderers and seducers)- You sold your body, you get to walk around whipped by demons.
8B (flatterers)- You paid false compliments, now you sit in your own BS.
8C (simony)- You paid for a church job. Oops. Your heads in a rock, your feet are on fire.
8D (sorcerers)- You told fortunes? Did you predict that your head would be put on your body backwards?
8E (corrupt politicians)- stuck in boiling resin.
8F (thieves)- You stole, now snakes and lizards steal bites of you.
8G (fraud)- Oops, you're stuck in a giant flame.
8H (counterfeiters) - You were a disease to society. Now you have a disease.
9A (traitors)- You betrayed those closest to you, now you're stuck in a block of ice up to your waste.
9B (traitorsB) - You betrayed your country! Ice up to the neck!
9C (traitorsC)- You betrayed your own guests. What possessed you to do so? Now you're really possessed by a demon and in ice up to your nose.
9d (traitorsD)- You're the Devil. Cool!

We'er Back

Well, im going back to school in a few days. Im ezited, i can't wait to see the group again! And Kris. Hehe... :D
I talked to him yesturday, and hes doing "Okay"...

Oh! I went to Japan LA yesterday! I bought alot og cake pastry thingys... they are amazing!!! (゜д゜)

I saw Scott Pilgrum too. Loved it! They did an amazing job with the movie! XD

I miss my Kriss... Can't wait to see him again!

Jizz... lol

I was at the beach with friends (i did not get in the water, i was in a white shirt and jeans) and you could not imagine, the view was amazing, and i mean the amazingly hot guys that were toppless and some in speedos! XD
I kept to myself, and just talked amung my friends, but the conversation started to die down. So i looked around, and saw these HOT guys playing volley ball. They served, dove, spiked, it was intence.
Then when their ball landed over to our group, one of the guys in speedos walked over and... well this is what happeded...
Hot Guy-"Hey, can we get our ball please?"
One of my gay friends-"Why dont you stay a while and...just hand here with us?"
HG-"Im kind of in the middle of a game... but maybe afterwards."
OOMGF-"Sure.." he gave a wink to him, and the guy actually smiled back.
After the VB game, the guy came over, and we takled. (More like interigated him..haha) But for some reason, my gay friend started to get into personal things with him, and then out of no where, they walked off on their own!!
WTF!! But i guess thats what you do when your single, and hornny. lol
Anyways, we talked amungst ourselves, and after a while, we started to wonder where he was. Ten minutes later, i spotted the two coming out of the men's restroom. You dont need to be a rocket scientist to know what happened.
My friend came back, and said nothing. So another friend(who is straight) asked him, "So...what went down between you and that guy?"
"Oh...nothing" he sighed.
I notices a stain on his pants, around the groin area, and said, "Well that jizz stain on ur pants doesnt seem like nothing." and i laughed.
He quickly looked down and saw the emberasdsing stain.
"FUCK MAN!" he said, and covered the emberassing stain with his jacket.
We kept bagging on him the entire ride home. XD

A Promise

I have been thinking... there is no point in being mad at someone that you love, it just wastes time and deviates you from what is really important...the fact that you love them, and the fact that you know that they love you too. So no mone sorrow, no more worry, no more anger and frustration, i just want to live, and live beside the one i know wants to be with me aswell. :D
I will try to see him as soon as i can, maybe make plans aswell, but only time will tell if i am able to make plans, and if i am able to abide by my plans.

The Short Girl

Lol... i was doing some work, when i hear the teacher ask,"Who is the one who answered the question?". Then out of no where, i hear some kid yell out at the top of his lungs, "The short girl!". And every one turns to a girl in the back of the class.
Flippin Halarious! Everyone was laughing theri ass off. XD

Different Start

This mornning was amazing! It was to the max cloudy, and it was cold-ish! I was so exited, but i knew that the wheather would not last...TT.TT
Whwn i was on my way to school, i had a feeling, that today was going to be different. Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was my instinct telling me something...I dont know, but so far, it has been somewhat different.

Randomawsity

me and my best friend went swimming last night. The water was soooo warm, i loved it!
But my shorts were a little too big, and when i jumped into the pool, my shorts came off.... talk about emberasing right?
Any who, because of the fact that i am gay, she takes her cloths off aswell and.... yeah....we were naked in the pool.... together.... lol
We just wernt next to achother AT ALL.
We are wierd... XD

Im So Confuzzled

RRRRAAAAHHHH!!!!
Okay... my cousin showed me this puzzle thing that looks like two metal rods that are tied into a knot, and the trick is to take them out of the knot without force. Now because of my stuborness with puzzles, im not able to put it down. Accept for now. But its pissing me off and i want to figure it out n my own...
_BRIAN POWER_

Surrogate?

I was readind through some posts and came across the word "Surrogate". I wanted to know what it meant, so i went on wikipedia and found a link to "Surrogate pregnancy". So i opened the like and found out that surrogate pregnancy, in actual context, means "a method of reproduction whereby a woman agrees to become pregnant and deliver a child for a contracted party. She may be the child's genetic mother, or she may, as a gestational carrier, carry the pregnancy to delivery after having been implanted with an embryo, the latter being an illegal medical procedure in some jurisdictions."
I found that really interesting! When i get married, and decide to have kids, i probably will consider Surrogacy.
Just trying to be optomistic. :)

Random Feelings

I don't know what it is, but i just feel so happy right now!
Maybe its the fact that I'm around the people that care about me the most...
No...that cant be it...
I don't know why i feel so positive, but i do.
I just hope you do too.

^-^

Today i went to the library to wait for some friends, but when they didn;t show, i went outside to look for them. I looked around outside and saw 1/3 of them. (honestly, i forgot his name... So emberasing..) I asked him what he was doing out side and he said, "I cant go inside, i'm banned." So we waited outside for the other two.
He said, "I think i see one of them walking, wait theres the other!" and i go running twards them, just being an idiot. I wasnt planning on hugging Jessie (one of the three was Jessie and the other was Erika) but she told me that Ryan (another friend) gave her my glasses that i had left on my desk to give to me. So i end up hugging her.
When we get to the front of the library, We walk inside and just sit there really, not doing any actual readding. That is until Jessie finds some gay books. (litteraly, the books where about the lives of different gay people.) So we each skim through them and after Erika had to leave, it was just Jessie and i. She needed to go meet one of her profesors, so we walked a ways until we got to a really mellow, really soothingly calm classroom. I wilked iside with awe and looked aroung. It felt very home-like. Jessie and i walked around the classroom and talked, until i noticed a guy who had the body of a playgirl modle! He was tall, had huge biceps, but had a cute face and seemed very nice. I wanted to talk to him, but he wat too old for me, and i didnt have the nerve to say anything.
After we left the classroom, Jessie and I walked around campus and sat on a bench that seemed to have no buisness there. We talked some more until another friend walks by and sits with us. He name was Adrian, and she is really sweet.
For a while we talked nonsence, then Jessie starts seduceing me and then Adrian joins in. I dah two girls touching my upper body, and i am gay... why couldnt it have been two guys!?
Anyways... Adrian gets off and starts to record Jessie while she tried to seduce me, but she kept laughing,and the "sexy video" was ruind, so we turned it into a random rant about fluffers and other random stuff. BTW, a fluffer is someone in a porn video that keeps the male actor aroused. HAHA!
During our video, another friend comes running out of nowhere, right twards me! I try ti get out of the way, but he grabs me, and hugs me. Then he jumps on me and im holding him while hes on my chest, while Adrian is recording! His name was Ryan BTW.
So after Ryan left, we talk some more, then we go our seperate ways, i know,...sad...I didnt want to leave, but there was a ton of things i had to take care of.
We said good-bye and that was that.
It was the most fun i've had in a while! I just hope the future stays positive and bright.

I Miss The Way Things Where

Ive been really sad lately, i really miss my old friends. Ashley was_ is a really good friend of mine. She is always full of life, so spontaneous. I miss the conversations we would have, the laughs we would share, but what i really miss is how she made me feel safe. I never hid my true identity when i was with her, she loved_ loves me for who i am. And i love her too, no matter what..
I also miss one of my first friends, Samuel, he was so random, but always had_ has a big heart. Connor is a friend who i wouldn't trade for anything in the whole world. Stephen is another friend i had, so intelegent, always dedicated, and extremely constructive. I know Stephen and I had are quarles but we always got through it. Ricky is a friend i can always count on, he helps when help is needed, has a big heart, and is so generous.
To name a few more awesome people ive come to know and love over the years, Chelsea, Patricia, Autumn, Allison, Juan, Alex, Roger, and there are probably a few more people that i am forgetting, but i love you too!
And to you, reader, i may or may not know you, but i just want you to know, no matter who you are, no matter where you are, i love you too, with all my heart, as i do the people i have named.
Be safe_be sane_be,LOVED.

I Think I Thought Wrong...

The guy who has been handsy with me has been even more handsy with me lately, and im starting to think, he might just be hiding in the closet. Im not going to persue this, but if he is interested, then we'll see what happens.

I Thought Again...

Today at around lunch time, i went with a group of friends to have lunch at their lunch spot, just to mix things up a bit. There was this gut who was constantly touching me, not in private areas, but on my upper body. He would put his arm around mine as we walked and he would smile at me, and at times he would feel the back of my head. I know weird, but it was like he was gropeing my head. I started to think, maybe he has feelings for me, so i put my arm around him as we walked to get food, he turned and smiled at me.
Later when we where walking alone, we pass a really hot woman that i didn't notice, but he did. He said, "Dude, did you see her tits, they where awesome!"
I was puzzled for a minute until i got the courage to ask him, "So... are you, or are you not?" "Huh, Oh, no I just play around like that, i'm not gay."
So after that little conversation, things got a bit akward, so we went seperate ways.

A Rotten Easter

Yesterday was Easter, I had no intrest in partaking in any activities what so ever. But, when I was in my room doing some work, I heard a yell coming from the back yard. So i dashed out of my room to see what was going on, and when i got to the back yard. I see my little sister holding an Easter egg in one hand and saying, "It smells really bad!" So i grab one that was hidding in the bushes and smell it. Turns out, these eggs where hidden on Friday, so they went really bad. My friend came soon after and he suggested we go egging houses, so I say what the hell, lets go for it!
We drive down the street and up to those fancy houses that are up on the mountain and we toss some rotting eggs out the window to some parked cars and some houses. Yeah I had a good time.
My friend was being stupid and threw and egg out his window to oncoming traffic when we got to the main street. The egg hit the on coming car and I hear the car swerve. I said to him, "Dude, what the fuck man! As funny as that is we could really hurt someone!"
After that, we went bck home and had a few..
I don't even want to tell you what happened the next mornning.. talk about the worst hang-over on earth. Well, thats karma for you.

I thought...

I was at the ligrary with a few of my friends, you know, just hanging out. We talked about random toppics which really should not have been brought up, but we did anyways. HA! So we taked, and decided to grab a bite to eat. When we got back to the library, one of the guys that i work with sees us and starts to bite a piece of my food from my hand. haha.
After we eat, we head inside to talk about more nonsence. Once Jessie left (one of my female friends) I was stuck with one of her friends and the guy who tried to eat my food, and he seems gay by the way. So we talk and stuff is shared, and i found out, he's not gay, his mannerisms are just feminine! I never would have guessed.
Once Jessie's friend left, the guy and I started going into more personal conversation. & no we did not hook-up, we just takled orientation wise, we, he talked about orientation.
It was libberatting to finaly talk amungst people who don't care what the hell you are, and who are just as odd and different as you are aswell.

P.S.+
Hope i spelled your name right Jessie, and if not, sorry...

Is it a Crime?

Okay okay... remember how i said i got a new grilfriend, well this is what happened after i posted the previous post.
I went to the gym to work out a bit, you know, to keep in shape. I go into the locker room after i'm done working out, and i planed on taking a shower there. (and to anyone who thinks i'm a wierdo, i dodn't want to do home all sweatty and smelly). I see a guy that i've never seem before, and he was 4-5 lockers away from mine. So we started talking, just harmless and meanningless conversations. I started to get undressed as we talked and i walked to the showers with nothing but my boxers on and a lowel in my hand. I turn on the shower and start wetting myself. I soon hear the same guy come into the showers aswell. We start talking about nonsence and crap (litteraly). We finished showering at about the same time, so me caried our conversation back to out lockers.
I picked up my pants and told him, "Turn around, i need to get dessent." So he dose, and i also turn and put on my spare boxers and pants. When i was about to zip up my zipper, i turn around and i see him staring at me, smileing, and he was naked! (I think he was going to put on his pants when i tuned aroung). I said to him in a flabergasted tone, "Are you gay?" He looked at my toplessness for a moment and said, "Well that depends if you are, are you..?" He said rather shy. I took a momen to respond, "well i was at one point, then i went Bisexual, then i was hetterosexual for a while, so i'm not entirely sure." He finished getting dressed, so did i, then he said in a dissapointed tone, "Well if your not, then thats a shame, but if you where, that would be nice." He winked at me. I finished getting dressed and i left the gym to go home.
The rest of the night, i lied in bed, thinking about what i should do. Mercia is such an amazing person, funny outgouing, makes me laugh, but i don't really feel the same way. And this guy i barely met, and he was peeping at me, but he has such a nice body, and great looks, and is intelectual in his conversations.
I didn't know what to do, i was caught between 2 interesting people. I wanted to tell her the truth, but i couldn't do that to her. I tought about just breaking up with her just so that i'm not in that akward possition all the time.I was also thinking that i should just be with her until she gets borde of me. But i couldn't take it, i had to tell her, so heres how it went, "Hey Mercia, I've been thinking...", "You want to break up don't you..?", "Please?" "Thank God! It was getting really akward. And besides we are more like friends than anything.", "Yeah, so we're cool?" "Yeah."
So yeah. it was a win win situation. I'm free to have anyone i wast (preferably a guy) and Mercia and i are still friends. But why do i feel like i did something wrong?

An Incoherent Anomaly

To start off, everyone... i'm gay.
Okay... lately I've been feeling a bit depressed because of someting my dad told me four nights ago, it was on my sexual orientation. He said it was an abomination to humanity and that I was a disscrase to the family.
I do not agree with him one bit, but it really got to me. I started feeling depressed as my mind wandered on the toppic. I felt like utter crap. I started thinking," What's the point of living if there is no one to support you when you need it." I was acting like a different person, one that was really ugly inside and just wanted to drop dead.
But today during my lunch break, I met up with one of my female friends, Mercea, and i told her my situation and where I stood. We talked for 20 minutes or so and we some how got off toppic. One thing lead to another, and she told me that she was really interested in me. I was suprised, mainly because she knew I was gay. I'm still confused...
Anyways, we talked about, us, and come to find out, she was so understanding, she and I have so much chemestry it's not even funny. Right now iI am officialy a Heterosexual and iI am not ashamed to say so.